I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I didn't notice because vodka
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
