Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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