am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Michael Bay diarrhea
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
