You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
