Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Randomize
