Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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