I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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