let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Im part way to drunk.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
