I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
