he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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