you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
