If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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