Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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