mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
