I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize