You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
