Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
