only you would photoshop your dick
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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