She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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