I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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