she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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