I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Randomize
