two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
