I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
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