He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
