She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
