That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
