i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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