Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
