so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
