I want to walk on stilts...naked
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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