today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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