So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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