Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Two words: nipple clamps
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