you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
