if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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