all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
