They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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