Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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