Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
