What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
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