those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
