I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
