I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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