win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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