sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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