dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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