two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
