ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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