Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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