thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
