I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
