A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
