We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize