He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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