And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
