She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
