I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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