it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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