we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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