from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
