Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
3 2 1 whiskey
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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