u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
