I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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