I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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