my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
