i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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